Cat Trainer Gifts

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

A cat tamer

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'Please, Pookie, just one time...pleeaase..Beg!'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Quick, start the car!"

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"Don't even think about it."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."