Cat Tactician Gifts

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"I just tweeted a chirp."

The Use of Cavalry

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

Kosovo.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"You just had to swipe at that fish."

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"Now we have all your arrows!"

Arsene Wenger

A cat tamer

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"I want conventional and nuclear battle plans on my desk. It's time to take this Twitter war to the next level."