Cat Behaviorist Gifts

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"You just had to swipe at that fish."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"The hyenas started it."

Bears catching fish

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

What does aloof mean?

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'