Canine Behaviorist Gifts

'He took a fetching class.'

'Shake'

'The final question...does it pass the sniff test?'

"What makes you think you're Good Boy material?"

Canine Scentipede

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Bears catching fish

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"The hyenas started it."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

What does aloof mean?

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."