Feline Behavioral Expert Gifts

"Occasionally turn up your nose and walk away, even if it's delicious. Otherwise they'll get complacent."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Canine Scentipede

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'He took a fetching class.'

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'Shake'

"What makes you think you're Good Boy material?"

'And once more with feeling.'

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"I can't explain it, I have this irresistible urge to lie on his keyboard when he's working at home..."

Teach your cat to read self-help manuals

"You just had to swipe at that fish."

'The final question...does it pass the sniff test?'

"Oh, I'm not lost. I just like your flowerbeds better."

"Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens."

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

'I think Pookie wants her supper.'

Cat: If life knocks you down, take a nap

'This saves me from having to be in analysis.'

"Muffy has gone to a whole new level of analyzing her food before turning her nose up at it."

"Does this box make me look fat?"

'Don't touch that -- I think it's some sort of art object.'

"Well, I think it's a BIG improvement over how he used to play with them after he caught them!"

"At last, the laser pointer is mine. Now I am the master."

"Well, at least we know our mouse catapult works."