Feline Tactician Gifts

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"Stay sharp, wait for my signal and do not, no matter how tempting, pet that cat on the stomach!"

Cat in a tank...

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

The Use of Cavalry

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Kosovo.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

Cat boxer

Arsene Wenger

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"Now we have all your arrows!"

Cat Up Tree - "He refuses to come down unless you agree to all his demands."

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

"What I want to eat? That's easy. Anything you don't have."

How to Feign Affection To Get Your Way.

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

'I'd call it a conversion.'

How Grandma's cat cleans those hard to reach places.