Playful Tacticians Gifts

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

Lynching on social media

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Works every time."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

CX909708

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

Musician

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

Arsene Wenger

Halloween. Trick or Treat trophy.

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

"Can I start getting my allowance in Lottery tickets?"

No Tread on Me

"This tantrum has been powerful, honest and riveting, and I think we should just give him what he wants."

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."