Humorous Tactician Gifts

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Works every time."

'Our recommended position on the market is fetal.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

If cartoonists fought wars.

Man and bird

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

Musician

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"Trust me, he knows how they think."

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

Woman uses drone flip flop to squash a bug.

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

'It's a special technique called cheating.'

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.

Remedial SWAT team training.

"My scheme revolves around making promises that we have no intention of keeping. . . for want of a better word, I've called it 'politics'."

The only side I take in an argument here is this side of the door.

Famous Last Words: 'Ready!...Fire!...Aim!...

"That's not what I meant by cover my ass, Henderson!"