Playful Tacticians Pillows

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

Lynching on social media

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Works every time."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

CX909708

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

Musician

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

Halloween. Trick or Treat trophy.

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

"This tantrum has been powerful, honest and riveting, and I think we should just give him what he wants."

"Can I start getting my allowance in Lottery tickets?"

No Tread on Me

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."