Creative Tactician Pillows

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Alternative fielding positions

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Works every time."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

ISIS needle in a haystack.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'...always surround yourself with incompetent people.'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"Are you sending your people over here to smoke in my doorway?"

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'And that's the latest on today's coaching changes.'

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

'Let's take turns saying what we like about each other...and fake it if you have to.'

"I've been asked to talk to you boys about 'rapid building entry' techniques

'No, I mean Mr lang can see you now.'

"...and the business will carrion as usual!"

'You've got your ears shut again, haven't you?'

'It's a special technique called cheating.'