Communication Tactician Pillows

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

How come you're sad, Rudy? No reason. Boring adult stuff. Okay. My girlfriend and I split up. I really liked her but our relationship just kind of evaporated. It was mysterious, y'know? Like how when I ask you a question you don't answer but when I sit silently you pour your heart out? No comment.

'You've got your ears shut again, haven't you?'

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Takeovers.

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"Clearly, this pair were up to something. . ."

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"