Playful Tactician Pillows

'It's a special technique called cheating.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Works every time."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

CX909708

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

Musician

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."