Moo-ving Tacticians Gifts

'Pawn to king's rook four.'

Lynching on social media

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"Works every time."

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

'Better get used to player rotation!'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

"This tantrum has been powerful, honest and riveting, and I think we should just give him what he wants."

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

'Gee, I'd like to help you folks out, but I'm just a character assassin.'

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

Power play

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

'It's a special technique called cheating.'

'Max, the rubber band gun is an outside toy...and you can't shoot it at people.'

"I did have a question regarding your career history. Under 'Strengths,' you listed 'Never convicted.' Would you mind elaborating on that?"

Noughts and Crosses

Recruitment Agency: "Describe yourself in three words."

"I don't know what he's protesting, but he's been on a cleaning strike ever since I married him."

'Having dinner together brings us closer.'