Armchair Tactician Gifts

"I want my gun to really scream, 'Look out-he's got a gun!'"

Calibrate This

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Building business relations.

Board Game Hunter

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Kim-Putin Summit

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.

The next drone flight

Human males marking territory.

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Snooker.

'Please - no thanks...the money, time, lives...we just hope you enjoy your new found freedom.'

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

Nato

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

By a Former Drone Operator

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"I like to see a man who's prepared, Remson!"

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

'Better get used to player rotation!'

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."