Tuneful Tactician Gifts

Musician

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Works every time."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

Doctor handing cell phone to patient: 'Here, take this and call me in the morning.'

Playing chess with a QR code for a chessboard

Chess Chef

"Is anybody listening to me?"

"I can't stand the way it's taunting us!"

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

'You win.'

Making music.

'It's a special technique called cheating.'

World Championships Tungsten Rubik's Cube

"I'm not going to bother studying that section. I'm just learning to the test."

Billionaires holding their annual politician round-up.

The only side I take in an argument here is this side of the door.

"My scheme revolves around making promises that we have no intention of keeping. . . for want of a better word, I've called it 'politics'."

Famous Last Words: 'Ready!...Fire!...Aim!...

"I need a few more minutes to resolve an internal battle between my soaring cholesterol level and a craving for french fries."

"So we'll attack on two fronts, facebook and twitter."

"Every stupid time I grease the stairs he figures it out."

Noughts and Crosses Office

"My dad shot an oryx once."