Cat Therapists Gifts

"You were there. You saw how he tried to twist my words, like I was the one doing all the complaining. You have to admit he was acting like a baby..."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

The Cat Spa

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"It's nice to be wanted."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"Cat got your tongue?"