Elephant Trainer Gifts

"Now I can talk on the phone and trample people to death at the same time."

'I wish you would go back to training elephants , Otto !'

'Does it have a big backyard?' - Sam's Elephant Training.

"I think I'd like to start seeing other elephant trainers, Rolf."

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite,'

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Skipping Horse

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Quick, start the car!"

Braiding a Horse's Tail

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Bert's dog training.'

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Agility God

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Litter Tray Training

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."