Elephant Rider Gifts

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

'The only problem, really is that our mahouts don't get along...'

"Yeah, I worked hard, but my mahout really took good care of me: the daily baths were so much fun!"

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

The Runaway Horse

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

Elephant ass selfie.

The circus diver.

'By Jove, we've finally found it! the fabled elephants' disco!'

Table Of The Elephants

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

'Peekaboo!'

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

Domestic event in the Zoological Gardens No. I. - The nose of the hippopotamus put out of joint by the young elephant

Stubborn Horses

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'My final offer.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.