Elephant Rider Pillows

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

'The only problem, really is that our mahouts don't get along...'

"Yeah, I worked hard, but my mahout really took good care of me: the daily baths were so much fun!"

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

The Runaway Horse

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

Elephant ass selfie.

"Okay, you can keep 'em, but if they grow any bigger, they'll have to sleep in the kitchen."

The circus diver.

'By Jove, we've finally found it! the fabled elephants' disco!'

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

'Peekaboo!'

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

Table Of The Elephants

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

Ernie's spent his entire career studying one species. He says everything else is "irrelephant."

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

"You finished with your peanuts?"

Stubborn Horses

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

Domestic event in the Zoological Gardens No. I. - The nose of the hippopotamus put out of joint by the young elephant

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'I told you it would fit.'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"