Flea Trainer Pillows

'I wish you would go back to training elephants , Otto !'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Bert's dog training.'

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Litter Tray Training

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"Don't even think about it."

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Dog stretching before a walk.