Flea Circus Ringmaster Gifts

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Stinkin' fake news!"

No caption (In the first frame a dog rides in a car with his head hanging out the window. The dog is smiling. In the next three frames the view gets progressively closer to his ear, until on the fourth frame a closeup is shown of a flea on the dogs ear. He too, is smiling).

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Yup...you've got em' alright. And they brought their circus, too.'

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

Unpopular Kids on Show and Tell Day.

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

The relay race

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

Matador.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

'It's just until he stops biting himself over there.'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

Police Log

"Dad, sit still! I'm trying to watch the flea-circus acts!"

'Hoopla!'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"Please, please, please Mum! The flea circus has arrived: can we go?!"