Flea Ringmaster Gifts

The Flea Circus.

"Stinkin' fake news!"

No caption (In the first frame a dog rides in a car with his head hanging out the window. The dog is smiling. In the next three frames the view gets progressively closer to his ear, until on the fourth frame a closeup is shown of a flea on the dogs ear. He too, is smiling).

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

A Change of Scene.

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Circus

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

'Have you tried the flea dip? It's wonderful.'

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Matador.

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"