Ringmaster Gifts

Lion Taming School: In Case of Emergency Break Glass (for chair).

'You, bearded lady. I ain't paying you to loaf around - oh sorry, I thought you were someone else... well, have a nice day.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'A raise? -- You take yourself WAY too seriously!'

'My court case became such a media circus I decided to employ a ringmaster instead of a lawyer!'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'Well, that's unusual...'

Circus

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

Matador.

'Hmm, you assistant is over here.'

"It seems some days like I make a little progress, then other days it seems like I'm not getting anywhere at all."

'I understand you're with the circus...'

Lost & Found

"Time's Up!"

"If you have a short fuse, this job isn't for you."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Do you smell something funny?"

Circus elephant and hoop.

"Quick, get the fire eater!"

Mouse and Elephant

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

A lion swallows a trainer whole.

Box Tamer.

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"Good luck out there with the normies and un-bearded ladies!"

'That's it. Either you lose weight or I'm getting another high-wire act.'

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"