Wedding Ringmaster Gifts

Relate,man jumping through hoop.

"Stinkin' fake news!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

Boxer's Hair Styles.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

Matador.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

'Hoopla!'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."