Corporate Circus Ringmaster Gifts

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

"Stinkin' fake news!"

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

Matador.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'I've never met such a heartless, gutless and brainless board of directors!'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

'Clown-noser.'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

Police Log

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'