Corporate Circus Ringmaster Pillows

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

Matador.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'I've never met such a heartless, gutless and brainless board of directors!'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'Clown-noser.'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

Police Log

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"O.K., now—on three, I'm going to toss a second job in there!"