Corporate Circus Lover Pillows

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Office meeting

In and Out Sourced.

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"Who's next?"

'Nice power tie, J.B.'

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

Time is HONEY

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

Pizza time.

Business Duck

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"It's the most hostile takeover I've ever been involved in"