Corporate Humor Lover Pillows

"Say what's on your mind, Harris - the language of dance has always eluded me."

"I suppose we could tweak our empathy algorithm."

'This really is an innovative approach, but I'm afraid we can't consider it. It's never been done before.'

'Your proposal is innovative, Unfortunately we won't be able to use it because we've never tried something like this before,'

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

'And we are firmly opposed to any form of group think.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'

'I'm uncertain on this, but I could be wrong.'

At a guess I'd say that the feedback was probably pretty good!

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

Simon's initial excitement about being headhunted didn't last long!

'Brilliant! A 3-D, holographic, pop-up annual report. Hopefully, no one will notice what a lousy year we had.'

"This is goodbye, gentlemen. I have met another board of directors, and we have fallen in love."

"You're the type who'll make me prove every claim I make."

'Why can't the rest of you be more like Stanton? He's full of new ideas.'

'Did I make this confusing enough?'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

'The lab has come up with a neat solution to our staffing problem. These are junior executives in the larval stage.'

'Yes of course I'd like out customers to have a social conversation with our brand. As long as that conversation ends with 'Can I give you my money?''

'I move we go on record for fewer imports here and more imports there!'

'They appear to be adapting well in their new habitat.'

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

"There's a rumour that we're going to merge again."

'It's time for some serious finger-pointing.'

'I'm resigning due to fiscal mismanagement...so my last act as CEO is to give myself a big severance package.'

'Then it's agreed. We'll go with our animal instincts.'

'All right! Who's got my bloody stress ball?'

'I'm sure the Pharaoh was a great guy, but I've got my own leadership style.'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'In an effort to cut back on unnecessary expenses, I have decided not to pay your salaries.'

Proctor & Gamble acquires Gillette.

'The entire staff hates you. Your promotion to management has been a complete success.'

"You were right, Mom. Having you there made it a much nice annual review."

"We won't be mailing out our quarterly report. Our profits were obscene and postal regulations prohibit mailing obscene material."