Family Circus Manager Gifts

"Working" from home

'Oh my god, I forgot I had children.'

Police Log

"Stinkin' fake news!"

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

Dolphin tricks.

The relay race

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

Parental Training Course

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

'Great coaching is about helping your coachee to move forward...'

'I've never met such a heartless, gutless and brainless board of directors!'

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

Suitably dressed for Happy Hour.

'I've had it for the last seventeen years.'

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"

Circus News

"Yes, mom, we're all getting plenty of exercise."

The stress in your job could kill you! So could the lions!

'It wasn't the baby's crying that kept me awake last night...it was my husband's.'

"Kids, could you do Mommy a huge favor and go really far away from me? Thanks."

Annoying Dinner Guests Dining Soc.

'The circus is downsizing, and we're replacing you with Rush Limbaugh!'

'Goodbye Granny, see you at Easter...'

"We've invested heavily - If not always wisely - In talent."

"I don't mind the wheezing. It drowns out the sound of my kids constantly arguing."

'Wow! This is the third restraining order this week! That's the last time I plan a family reunion.'

". . . and if your kids have been driving you crazy today, just remember one day soon they won't even want to know you. . . and exhale. . . ahhhh."

"It's just a phase."

"Oh no, you do not walk away when I'm talking to you!"

'For heaven's sake, couldn't you have spelled it out?'

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

"It's my flea. I think it's got dogs."

"I'm fed up being paid peanuts."