Family Circus Expert Gifts

". . . and if your kids have been driving you crazy today, just remember one day soon they won't even want to know you. . . and exhale. . . ahhhh."

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Dolphin tricks.

Parental Training Course

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

The relay race

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

'I've never met such a heartless, gutless and brainless board of directors!'

Police Log

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

"Dad, sit still! I'm trying to watch the flea-circus acts!"

"Working" from home

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

'I've had it for the last seventeen years.'

"Yes, mom, we're all getting plenty of exercise."

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"

'Oh my god, I forgot I had children.'

'It wasn't the baby's crying that kept me awake last night...it was my husband's.'

"Kids, could you do Mommy a huge favor and go really far away from me? Thanks."

Marvo and his fleas at the vets, Vet with gun "I'm sorry but he's broken a leg".

"We've invested heavily - If not always wisely - In talent."

'Tripped over the cat.'

'There's no hope - I'm going to have to put him down.'

'He's ever so good with children.'

"I don't mind the wheezing. It drowns out the sound of my kids constantly arguing."

'Wow! This is the third restraining order this week! That's the last time I plan a family reunion.'

"It's just a phase."

'And now for the light side of the news. My dog has fleas.'

The perils of working from home

"And to think 'roll over' used to be a big deal."

'...The world does revolve around our child!'