Family Circus Lover Gifts

Parental Training Course

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Hot Dog Animals: $2

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

"Support the head."

The relay race

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

Tomato, zucchini or grapefruit? Balloons. Vegan Clowns.

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

Busking Elephant

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

The great zucchinis

'Hoopla!'

'This must be your son - I can see the resemblance.'

Entertainers - Clowns and Jugglers. No Fools Kept in this van Overnight.

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

'I've had it for the last seventeen years.'

I'd Rather Be Unicycling.

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

'Do you want flies with that?'

"Yes, mom, we're all getting plenty of exercise."

"OK, OK, I believe that you were an ‘all-state gymnast at obedience school’... now please get down."

"Young Master downright lied to Mistress! I can smell he didn't use soap or shampoo when he took his bath!"

'He's got a terrific memory but dreadful eyesight.'

Career choices for fleas.

'I met a circus acrobat on holiday, two performances a night, and a matinee on Sunday.'

Clowns.

'Well, the old saying: 'A fool and his money are easily parted' certainly isn't true!'

'It's a long story...'