Ring Master Gifts

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

'Break.'

Gymnastics.

'To tell you the truth, I thought I lost the fight.'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

"If you ask me, he's too damn cocky!"

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

'Boss, come here quick!'

"Don't worry lad, we're all nervous at first."

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

"But did you really have to hit him that hard?"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Circus

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

Circus Act

Matador.

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"