Flea Ringmaster Pillows

The Flea Circus.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

A Change of Scene.

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'Do you still think we have this family under control?'

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

'Have you tried the flea dip? It's wonderful.'

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Matador.

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."