Flat Earth Theorist Gifts

Flatlas

'Just want to give you a heads-up that Danae is outside test marketing her skills in contrarian persuasion.'

A ship sails on water flowing off a flat Earth.

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"You have reached the edge of town."

You know, if you made it with a sphere, it wouldn't need a railing. Plan.

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

'I think that's always how it's been!'

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

President of Flat Earth departs laterally

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

'This must be that planet where they also don't believe they have Global Warming.'

"Well, the flat earthers were partially right."

Cat scratch fever

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

The Fact-Earther's Atlas

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

The Globe

'So, what did you decide - Flat earth or 3-D?'

'Please welcome our first speaker who will discuss 'The Challenges of Globalisation'.'

"Don't tell the flat-earthers about this. We'd never hear the end of it."

If time is money, why the hell isn't space money?

Republican Earth Day

"Unfortunately, our guest speaker can't make it. He was knocked off the edge by a cat."

The Private Doubts of Christopher Columbus.

Flatlas.

"I'm never visiting earth again! Ever since we got back I've been getting nothing but robocalls and spam."

Minion, it's come to my attention you've been talking about science to the customers. This will not do. My perusal of our customers' social media posts indicated that a growing number of them believe the earth is flat and science is lame. I don't want you saying anything that might insult the beliefs of this growing minority group. "Dumb" is not a minority. "Dumb" is a slur now, Rudy. The P.C. term is "Dingbat-American."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I met this woman. I fell madly in love with her, but just yesterday, I found out she believes the world is flat … Should I let that break us up? That depends, brother. Would you be happy not knowing whether she was into you because you're a great guy ... or because she thinks you're the mountain-master who pushes mountains up from the ground as she drives toward them, and sucks them back under as she drives away? Did I mention she'

I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all. I think you're being a little alarmist. I've worked out the future configuration of the continental plates. Earth: 250,000,000 A.D. (mathematical equations) I think you forgot to carry the one. The future looks bright.

"This is why they say 'the world is flat.'"

Flat Earth Society. We have members all over the world. We've gone global!

"The only thing we fear is sphere itself."

Sponsored by the Flat Earth Society