Flat Earth Believer Gifts

The Fact-Earther's Atlas

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set wh

"You have reached the edge of town."

You know, if you made it with a sphere, it wouldn't need a railing. Plan.

'Perhaps the surest evidence intelligent life exists out there is the fact it hasn't revealed itself to us thus far.'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

Pyramid UFO...

'I think that's always how it's been!'

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

'Just want to give you a heads-up that Danae is outside test marketing her skills in contrarian persuasion.'

President of Flat Earth departs laterally

'This must be that planet where they also don't believe they have Global Warming.'

We are not alone!

'...Water on Mars'

"Well, the flat earthers were partially right."

The Globe

A ship sails on water flowing off a flat Earth.

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."

'So, what did you decide - Flat earth or 3-D?'

'It's a message from the mothership. Apparently, we've been abducting too many idiots who stand in fields all night looking up at the sky.'

'Please welcome our first speaker who will discuss 'The Challenges of Globalisation'.'

"I wanna thank everyone who believed in me!"

"Don't tell the flat-earthers about this. We'd never hear the end of it."

Republican Earth Day

"Unfortunately, our guest speaker can't make it. He was knocked off the edge by a cat."

The Private Doubts of Christopher Columbus.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I met this woman. I fell madly in love with her, but just yesterday, I found out she believes the world is flat … Should I let that break us up? That depends, brother. Would you be happy not knowing whether she was into you because you're a great guy ... or because she thinks you're the mountain-master who pushes mountains up from the ground as she drives toward them, and sucks them back under as she drives away? Did I mention she'

Flatlas

Flatlas.

Minion, it's come to my attention you've been talking about science to the customers. This will not do. My perusal of our customers' social media posts indicated that a growing number of them believe the earth is flat and science is lame. I don't want you saying anything that might insult the beliefs of this growing minority group. "Dumb" is not a minority. "Dumb" is a slur now, Rudy. The P.C. term is "Dingbat-American."

"Isn't Bill going a little too green?"