Flat Earth Humorists Gifts

'This must be that planet where they also don't believe they have Global Warming.'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

The Sensitive Dude.

"You have reached the edge of town."

'Hey Dad, Mom's got a new hobby...still life painting...er, Dad?'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

'I think that's always how it's been!'

Newton discovers surrealism

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

'This is a first Mr Cowbird. You've contracted mad cow disase and the bird flu!'

Robot porn.

'We're not paprazzi. We're your parents.'

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

'Dad was fibbing, Mum... the new TV DOES show stuff beside sport!'

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

So that's what they mean by the "vacuum of space"! Vvrrrrr. WHOOSH!

Born Cynical,,,,

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

"Oh, I see - so it's wrong to cut down the Amazon Rainforest, but okay for me to weed, prune and mow our own garden?"

Sign on shop: Headquarters: 'Business People for Peace'. Man walks out of shop wearing t-shirt with slogan 'Make money not war'.