Earth Comedian Gifts

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Penguin

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Just a little seasoning...

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I'm a monster."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

Where's my global warming?

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

Sawfish cuts through the oars of row boat.

Icebergs talk about CNN appearance and looking thin on TV.

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

The Joshua Tree

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

Evolution...the booted flamingo.

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."