First Massage Experience Gifts

"First visit to a massage therapist?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mom's Spa'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'I also offer massage therapy.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

Couples Massage

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"Shoulder work ahead"

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Toe-Tickling Machine

Foot Massage

'You're very tense today.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

'I've never done this before.'

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

Masseuse With Rolling Pin

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"Will it be just a cleaning or a full hour on sensual dentistry."

'I'll be right back after these massages.'

"Don't worry: My claws retract..."

I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me me up the wrong way.

"Too hard?"

"Greg will be giving your massage today."