First Massage Experience Gifts

"First visit to a massage therapist?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'Mom's Spa'

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

Couples Massage

"Shoulder work ahead"

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Foot Massage

Toe-Tickling Machine

'You're very tense today.'

Chair massages.

'I've never done this before.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

To compensate for the stress of news broadcasts, Tina's TV came with a built-in massage system.

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"Too hard?"

"Don't worry: My claws retract..."

"Will it be just a cleaning or a full hour on sensual dentistry."

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me me up the wrong way.

'I'll be right back after these massages.'