Firewood Gatherer Gifts

"Daddy's taking him to the woodshed, again!"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Barbecue

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Grocery Shopping

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

We're having a dinner party.

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

The vegan hunter

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

Absurd log splitting machine

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...

"I know we want our garden to be insect-friendly, but I draw the line at sharing my cream cake with wasps."

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it!'

Ghak was a hunter, Zhoomba was a gatherer and Fnok was a sponger.

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

Wine Hourglass

'I'm in hunting mostly but I dabble in gathering.'

"I'm a hunter, gathering isn't in my job description."

'We only have red wine.'

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

"I didn't go to work today. I gathered firewood instead."

"Why don't you just go to the supermarket like everybody else?"

'I couldn't find any mastodons, and besides, this is a big darn rabbit!'