Firewood Aficionado Gifts

Organic?... Or processed food?

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Rocking horse

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

D.I.Y

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Roasting the Moneybox

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Relaxing in front of a fire.

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Luthier

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Flash Cuisine

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Creepy Camp Stories.

The man who discovered smoke

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Nobody likes a smore loser

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

'Is the fire included?'

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house