Firewood Enthusiast Gifts

'Cold this morning, isn't it?'

Real firewood - last chance for 30 miles.

Absurd log splitting machine

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Rocking horse

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

D.I.Y

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Roasting the Moneybox

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"Today, son, you are a man."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

Relaxing in front of a fire.

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Luthier

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Flash Cuisine

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Creepy Camp Stories.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

The man who discovered smoke

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Lumberjack Christmases.