Timber Aficionado Gifts

D.I.Y

Rocking horse

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Do you have anything bigger?

"I brought cocoa."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

Stop and Birch

"Today, son, you are a man."

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

Tree Squirrel

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

Lumberjack Christmases.

Frank and Ernest Nursery. We sell mature trees. Come in for a shady deal. Uh, Ernie, about this sign you put out.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

No tree hugging.

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'