Lumber Enthusiast Gifts

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

'Yellow pine? No, I want to panel my den in purple pine.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Rocking horse

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

D.I.Y

"Today, son, you are a man."

"She's a natural!"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Luthier

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

Lumberjack Christmases.

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

Bakery: Xmas Logs.

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

'No I don't have scissors you can borrow.'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

Indian hollowing out log for a canoe sees woodpecker pecking his log

"It all started out just fetching sticks, and the business sort of grew from there."

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

Absurd log splitting machine

"Reproduction furniture."

Nice one, Darling. You've given us a Gothic arch cut out ouf the kitchen table.