Lumber Enthusiast Gifts

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

'Yellow pine? No, I want to panel my den in purple pine.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Rocking horse

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

D.I.Y

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

"Today, son, you are a man."

"She's a natural!"

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Luthier

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Lumberjack Christmases.

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

Bakery: Xmas Logs.

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

'No I don't have scissors you can borrow.'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

Indian hollowing out log for a canoe sees woodpecker pecking his log

"Reproduction furniture."

Absurd log splitting machine

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

"It all started out just fetching sticks, and the business sort of grew from there."