Lumber Lover Gifts

'Did you see who's moving next door!?

"Must you see everything in terms of lumber? This isn't about yew."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Deforestation.

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Beer Stall

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Margarita

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

Fox hunting.

"Hey! I know a howl of derision when I hear one!"

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

The Speculators

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"