Lumber Lover T-Shirts

'Did you see who's moving next door!?

"Must you see everything in terms of lumber? This isn't about yew."

Deforestation.

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Margarita

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

Beginning Yarder.

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Fox hunting.

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

"Hey! I know a howl of derision when I hear one!"

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

The Speculators

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Spotted Owl Migration

Beer Club for Men.

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"