Woods Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't know why sawing logs refers to snoring...."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Do you have anything bigger?

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"I brought cocoa."

D.I.Y

Stop and Birch

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

"Today, son, you are a man."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

'That's not a neat trick-he doesn't know how to swim.'

Tree Squirrel

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

'Is it me, Fiona, or the hole in the ozone?'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

Lumberjack Christmases.

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

No tree hugging.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

"I'm going back to the office...I've got to get my mind off fishing for a while."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."