Firewood Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Cold this morning, isn't it?'

Real firewood - last chance for 30 miles.

Absurd log splitting machine

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Rocking horse

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

D.I.Y

Roasting the Moneybox

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"Today, son, you are a man."

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Luthier

Flash Cuisine

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

The man who discovered smoke

Lumberjack Christmases.

Creepy Camp Stories.

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

'Is the fire included?'

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house