Firewood Aficionado T-Shirts

Organic?... Or processed food?

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Rocking horse

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

D.I.Y

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

Roasting the Moneybox

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Luthier

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Flash Cuisine

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

The man who discovered smoke

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Nobody likes a smore loser

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Creepy Camp Stories.

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

'Is the fire included?'