Fire Aficionado Gifts

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

The man who discovered smoke

"I'm waiting for them to workout the bugs."

Well, I see you've met your match!

'Stay away from your father - he's just discovered fire!'

'My Dwayne could light up a room when he came through the door. He's now doing five years for arson...'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Woman escapes with cats.

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"In a late breaking news story, our TV station is on fire."

"We should have stopped these green agitators from making predictions long before their predictions came true."

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

'Do you have to bring your work home with you?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

Two Cats 'I just love curling up without a good book.'

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

Collecting logs