Fire Aficionados Gifts

'I don't know, Sparky. I think you just met your match.'

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Monster Clown

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

The man who discovered smoke

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

Candles In Bed

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Organic Soldering.

'I hear Oog gave up inventing.'

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

Studying Fire Behavior

Barbeque Silhoutte Identifier,

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

'Well, if you don't like the way I cook it, you shouldn't have discovered fire, should you?!'

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

"Since he discovered fire, he's done nothing but binge-watch."

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

The Winter Chimney Cleaner

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

'You, with the tattoo, you're free to go.'

"I'm waiting for them to workout the bugs."

"Where's the Viagra?!" "Where's the fire escape?!"